...the doodle of babybaby bill beckett (version.glasses+sillysweater)


tommorrow, I'm updating sunshine and eyedaggers and then I'm swearing off lj for at least the weekend, so I can get some papers done before I flunk out of senior year and they tell me I can't graduate.

today was a wierd kind of day
in the corner of my physics notes I drew a picture of beckett as a child (aged 7ish?) and wrote this:

the world is full of mothers naming their babies ordinary names
like phil and jonathan and rob
in hopes that their babies will grow up to do ordinary things
like go to school and settle down and get a decent job
when I’m older and they tell me, it’s gunna be a boy
I’ll name him Citrus
in hopes that he’ll grow up
to do lines of coke off his lover’s backside   

I may upload the picture later, when my camera stops being a bitch.

also, Jenn says to me, "sometimes I would like to hold you down and suck out your eyeballs, so that you would stop looking at me like you do."

and then, going through some of my old stuff I found a story I started writing at the beginning of the year and now want to resurrect. it reminds me of a fic I read recently, that I can't be bothered to find the link to right this second.

the beginning. (or the end, actually. haha. that's funny.)



it's not great, (nothing ever is)  but it was fun to write, so I think I'll continue.

edit!: found a second chapterish thing:

you’re gunna hurt your arches with a soul that hard
walk it out sugar, and don’t come back til your feet hit the ground

and sometimes the skin behind my knees makes promises to your fingertips
but you should know by now, dear, that the only wet behind my ears is sweat

I got SANTI about 3 days ago, and like most TAI...fans, I didn’t really like it on first listen. I”ve given it a decent amount of turns by not though, so I’m going to put down my opinions as I give it another go, for posterity.



I’m torn about the production. In some places I think its great, but sometimes I feel like it overpowers the music and/or waters it down. In general I really respect Butch, I think he’s amazing and I’ve loved the production he’s done before (see: his own albums/Forget What You Know), but I just feel like some of this album is not as good as it should be.

Lyrically, I don’t find this album as intriguing as I expected from Beckett (Wentz told us you were a writer!), though I do think his vocal performance is spot on.

I think I like Chislett, I feel the guitars are really excellent on this CD.

I really do like it as a whole, maybe I’ll get into it more, with more listens, but I don’t think I’ll ever love it the way I did Almost Here. Their style has definitely changed (I want to say the rock is “bigger,” if anyone else gets what I mean), and there’s nothing wrong with a band evolving, their older style just appeals to me more. Lots of people have been saying this is a more mature sound, and really, I’m just a kid.

I think the mood of Almost Here reverberated with me more because when they wrote that they were still trying to break out, not quite sure about whether they were going to, and I’m at that point as well: transitioning. This album is more “sophomore,” maybe even a little jaded, and I’m just not there yet.


And I liked “Fever” so much.  

Time bent over backwards and called me Daddy

not that you're fast, honey,
just that everyone else says it's been ages.

I engineered this heartbreak from the ground up
the trick is in an unstable foundation
and bad logic bricks
if p then q, and not the other way around


I’m good with numbers and bad with hearts in the same way
give me something simple and I’ll twist it into what I want



I just want a nice girl, who's into Dirac and tells me I'll love you til the end of time is theoretically impossible.

so lemme see your moves

lemme see your moves

lips pressed close to mine

true blue

I beta'd crash_it_yo 's first fanfic!
It's adorable. The title has an exclamation point that makes me want to giggle.

It's so Patrick!

I think everyone in this fandom has had that kind of thought before.. where they just really really wanted to describe something as Patrickesque.


I'm really bored today. I should really stop myself from making any more random posts though.

so, I'm really enjoying this song right now. It's more than a little embarrassing. Her voice is good, but not jawdropping, but the production is kinda hot. I could do without the spoken word breakdown, but other than that it's pretty much been stuck in my head all day.
It's also no chore watching her dance around. Seriously, whats with the disney channel churning out such grade A foxes? To think it all started with that Funicello girl.

this post is kinda pointless beyond pimping "baby v" as we now must call her.

so, when I said I was going off the internets, it was a complete lie. or a somewhat lie. because it really starts on sunday, and may be less than a week. Joyous!
but maybe I'll come out of it with some stuff written like a good little girl.

So, I've realized that I have acquired this habit of completely passing over anything with ryden in it. like completely, won't even read it if its on damnyouwentz. and I usually read EVERYTHING on that comm. I used to like it too! I guess that's what you get when the comms are inundated with too much OTP.

Sam isn't sleeping and I'm worried about her. she says, "I never had trouble sleeping in your bed."

I had a turtle once, he ran away, I don't like to talk about it. but we used to put him up against the wall next to the record player and trace his shell. and now that we're moving, it's gunna be painted over. I just realized that today.


So, I found this band on purevolume once called The Josephine Love Letter, and I adored their songs. But now they aren't on there anymore, in fact there is almost no trace of them on the internet (or at least the googles) besides lastfm. anyone know about them/where I can find their music?

I'm gunna paint the window in jelly
to go with my peanut butter decor
I'm gunna spread the bed with margarine
and cream cheese the hardwood floor

I will be taking a (non-willful) break from internets. with perhaps small amounts of reading time, starting.. tommorrowish and lasting til far too long (formerly known as about a week)

Dear boy in the back of the class,
yes, I too would like it if we could just erase race and see people for what they are. but that's not how the world works right now, and to ignore issues of ethnicity and pretend that race does not have a huge impact on many aspects of modern life is just silly and misguided. yes, I get that youre an idealist, but you're really not bringing anything to the class with your surface discussion of race. Go home and think about why the wage gap is closing but the wealth gap between whites and minorities is still so large, then you can tell me that you'd rather just talk about "the human race" and I'll call you a child once more.
sincerely,
carrie

That said, something we were learning about in class has me writing an au wherein patrick is an anthropological researcher and pete is one of the natives. oh yeah, I'm completely nuts. It's also totally distracting me from sunshine and eyedaggers.


maybe you and I could destroy humanity.
and when we built it back up every child would have your pretty eyes.

I watched mtv at a friends house today.
a few things:

I'm not sure what you're trying to do or who you think you're fooling, but you can stop now, Avril.  (And not that I really ever respected you before, but seriously, with the booty shorts?)

Please, Lizzy Maguire, you're not helping me feel less creepy for having major lust for a disney channel star by wearing that wig. Damn you and your fine ass to hell!

j.lo, that sounds like every other spanish ballad from like five years ago. try again.

Jared Leto. no. no there are no words. Jared Leto, who are you?

sometimes I'm glad we can't afford cable anymore, so I don't spend hours watching mtv like I used to.

but then..

fob and gym class on trl? oh fuck yeah. I'll never get tired of those videos. Congratulations mainstream America, we agree!

Mika, you can get into my pants now.

I don't even mind the fact that the fire and mud is just that side of cliche, because the video is primarily a performance one, and mcr rocking out is all I really ever wanted. Oh god, and frankie panting in that one shot. Fuck.

Beyonce. oh Beyonce. just thank you.

so I was hanging out with danny today.
doing that music thing we do where he recommends albums and I write them down, I burn him all the cds he doesn't have yet, and then we play songs to each other on my laptop.
lounging in my bed, danny can't see the screen, so naturally I play "get busy living or get busy dying" (previously danny has expressed dissatisfaction with my love of such bands as fall out boy, my chemical romance, cobra starship. he told me that one day he went through all his music files and deleted anything he considered 'embarrassing.' I told him that was totally backwards and what I do is just work on being less embarrassed of the music I like)
halfway through the song I got excited and started to play a different song and he said "hey!" and asked who was that just playing.
"fall out boy."
"oh."
hahahahaha "FACE!"
then he threw  a pillow at my head and took the computer from my lap so he could play some smiths and get his cred back.
in conclusion: one snob down...  an upsetting number left.
I'm going to give him a cd of fob songs and write something else on the front, just to see what happens.

sunshine and eyedaggers posting tommorrow! ... jeez I need to stop putting it off.

I don't know why I'm so fixated on the ativan thing. Because I'm creepy? But really, that one line in Hum Hallelujah 'and swallowed them too,' is probably my favorite lyric on the entire album. Also,  7 minutes in heaven was.. like my theme song for a month straight.

and finding out hum hallelujah is so because the song 'hallelujah' was playing in the car during? combined with the mental idea of Patrick singing hallelujah implanted by this fic? all does strange things to my heart.

so then, when it's really far too early in the morning and I haven't slept for a while, I write wierd love notes that reference (AU) addiction and the Best Buy Incident. then I post them!


“Dear Peter,”

*
How do you know?
Is it love if it hurts?
Is it love if you makes you a little neurotic?
Is it love if you ache without it?

Or is that just addiction?
Love is the drug.

Well you would know.
The cavern of your bag winks glossy and amber at me where the zipper doesn’t quite close.

So tell me,
Do you need me like you need the rattling in your bag?

And will the day come when you can’t take it anymore
And you call your mom to say ‘I love you’
And you wrap yourself in my arms, and you bury yourself so deep in me, that no one can bring you back?

The world would lose you.
But you, you would smile for the afterlife to come.
You would smile for us.
*

“Want to be in love?
(Your,)
Patrick”

mmmhm. I don't know. It's my sister's birthday. She's officially old. and there is a big calc test tommorrow (by that I mean today)  that
I was supposed to be studying for. Instead I started this. First part of a larger idea roughly based on the song Judy by the Pipettes. Yeah, I know, but maja is way hotter than indeterminate forms.


I really am a sucker for greta/maja. It's funny, because it's like they got thrown together just because they're the only two girls in the fandom. But really. Maja all short and foreign and angular and bombshelly and Greta soft around the edges and sweet and midwestern and a huge dork. They would be an excellent couple. Plus they're just so fucking hot.

I stayed in on a saturday night to watch fob on aol.
jenn called me an idiot and made me nachos. I love that girl. she even sat with me even though I sang along too loud and yelled at the screen everytime they panned away from the band.
the rest of my friends are drunk somewhere, but who needs alcohol when you can have golden live? and pete warming his hands on patrick's aura of hottness. I always knew it just radiated off him.
jenn says she loves me too!

also pete singing into a broken mic: absolutely priceless.
and dirty getting call out for hitting on some girl.
and "johnny knoxville" making pete's night
and I could go on for too long, so i'm stopping now.
and jenn's going to make me watch a movie of her choice to regain some control in this relationship.

o0o0h and also my dirtyslutcrush on andy is like... tenfold. even though aol definitely didn't give him enough screentime.

"Why would she do that?"
"She thinks she can force me to make the same mistake over and over again.
 She thinks I won't fight her for you."

That's all I can remember from a dream I had this afternoon, but I feel like it was a really good story and it's driving me nuts that I can't remember what the hell it's talking about!

I think there is a good possibility I didn't fail my physics test today. That's nice.

Also Carrie + Jenn is so on again.

 well, it's a well known equation, sometimes referred to as Formula /B/.

it goes boredom+digital camera= gratuitous softcore camwhoring

and apparently, I'm susceptible.

so, yah. no good excuse for this.


I apologize

but, anyone who got my 4chan ref gets a free box of delicious internet hearts.

also, wow I post too much.